Memorial Day is, for you uncultured brats, the day of remembrance of our military veterans who served to protect this nation. It, like all other holidays, is not exempt from fuckery caused by dumb-dumbs, however. To wit, here’s a pic concerning one of today’s top stories:
I intentionally shrunk the pic from its big-ass original size because I care about your appetites. That washed-up ho is serving you Jon Gosselin-looking-at-what-his-life-has-become realness. Though I bet the real Jon Gosselin wished he had a fraction of Tiger’s income, so he doesn’t have to resort to bottom-of-the-barrel shit like this.
All I can say is…
Take it from Patsy, Tiger! And there’s always a taxi, or an Uber or Lyft. Their drivers may not always be pretty, young white girls, but take what you can get when you’re wasted as fuck.
Apparently, the Ghost of Messiness also queefed onto some baseball players on the west coast today.
OOooohhhh figHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! Mah team must have followed the rule of 90s Knicks player Greg Anthony: “you either win the game or the fight.” Greg knows what he’s talking about! It was not in the clip above, but hearsay queefs that injured dirt bike rider Madison Bumgarner was itching to also get in the scrum. Can you imagine if he didn’t ride that dirt bike, was completely healthy, and saw that fight going down? MadBum & Strickland vs. Harper and a bunch of Nats players? Add Puig in there for the fuck of it and that would’ve been a mega mess so glorious, it would have been a work of art and deserving of its own exhibit at the deYoung museum.
Oh, wait, let me find the proper response…wait, wait…nope, that was actually her response to all of this.
In the words of Latrice Royale during Untucked for the “Frenemies” episode, I live for it, gurl! *fans self*