I had a feeling 2016 was shaping up to be another crummy year because of what went down this past New Year’s Eve. I went to go watch the fireworks up in a supposedly-secluded spot in the Oakland hills. (Because I’m becoming more of an old, I cannot stand crowds as I used to, hence I didn’t bother with going to SF for NYE.) Granted there were a couple others around, but definitely the opposite of crowded. Of course, there will be stragglers to everything, and this event was no different. Minutes before it became 2016 in Cali, this Benz SUV came around, parked near my car (but not to where they blocked my view of the city), and out came this couple taking all these pics with their goddamn cell phone. At night. Ahahaha. It gets better (actually, shittier), though: they then pulled out a equally-goddamned selfie stick and took more pics. Ahahahahahaha. I’m sure that couple will enjoy their moldy-potato-quality pics after. Seeing this bullshit happen while I’m trying to enjoy the view and the fireworks show in proper serene fashion could’ve been the premonition that this year was going to be as bad, if not worse than 2015. (“Shut up you old grumpy whore and go back to blowing your dildos!” –troll you)
And you know what, cynical as I was with that premonition, maybe it proved itself true. That cunt grim reaper had the nerve to take away Ziggy Stardust from us! As if the bitch wasn’t satisfied from taking away Natalie Cole and (I still hate having to know this) Lemmy from Motorhead.
And because of that, my word of 2015, Cunt, could very well be the word for 2016. And possibly for this decade.
Why was Cunt the word of 2015? Simple. Here’s a brief rundown of the shit that happened then:
–a bunch of ungrateful cunts terrorized Paris in January AND November
–a bunch of undersexed cunts went to go see that “50 Shades of Barf” movie in February, based on that cunt “book” that those same bunch of undersexed cunts bought, that was written by an old, undersexed cunt who smeared caca all over the BDSM community
–known cunt Bruce Jenner killed a woman in a car accident, then changed into Caitlyn Jenner (and gets all this praise for bringing light to the Trans community while eschewing the fact that she not only killed someone but happens to be a shit parent)…and is still a cunt
–pedo cunt wack-ass rhymer Tyga became a thing (or even more a thing? I no pay attention to his, um, career.) in 2015
—Ariana Grande Twat. Spoiled little cunt.
—Kim Davis. MEGA CUNT.
–even more cell phone slaves existing, and all these commercials encouraging people to be cell phone slaves. Cunts across the board.
–the cunty unskippable ads on almost all the YouTube videos
–those damn cunt Dodgers winning the NL West division title at the park of my team, the SF Giants. (It’s OK, though; they made me happy again a few weeks after that.)
–those two ungrateful cunts that terrorized those people in San Bernardino
–that cunt troll poster on the D who stupidly compared hot whiny boy Kit Harrington as the modern-day Keanu Reeves. (Yes, I remember these silly cunt things.) Bitch probably forgot about Kristen Stewart. Or maybe that is K-Stew behind the username. If you’re going to make comparisons or mess with mah man, do so properly or GTFO (yes, even on a gossip blog, honey). Speaking of K-Stew…
–the following cunts were still happening: Wuss Bieber, Miley Virus (remember those old entries where I once spoke some nice about her? That’s all down the drain, now.), the Kuntrashian-Jenner losers, the
K! E! channel, MTV, the Duggar losers, Subway Jared, Kuntye West, creepy Terry Richardson, Lena Dumpham, Pill Cosby, Combover Trump, Kelly Rutherford, Nikki Garbage, Iggy Azalame, Azalea Broke, Kristen Stewart, Floyd Mayweather, Vogue magazine (in fact, 90% of Conde Nast magazines, since we now know they sold their soul to the Kuntrashian-Jenners, and if you don’t believe me, why do they keep showing up on their covers? If you can stomach it, go Google “Kendall Vogue” to see shitty modeling at its finest), Cara Delalame, Jed York, Roger Goodell, hashtags, and I’m sure there are more but now my head is throbbing with pain from remembering these cunts.
And just two weeks into 2016 and the grim reaper ain’t finished yet. Sure, the year is young, and, who knows, maybe there will be something amazing happening later on. (Like the Kuntrashians-Jenners disappearing into oblivion or me winning a big-ass Lotto jackpot.) But the cuntness of 2015 should not have bled into this year! This year was supposed to be a year of promise and hope and hahahaha I couldn’t help it. Come to think of it, there was too much cuntness in 2014 (hello, Vogue magazine), which spilled into 2015, and (sadly) remembering some of the shit that happened in the past five years, there was no better word to sum up the shit of this decade than Cunt.* Five full years of cuntness, and as long as I keep seeing the same shit happening this year, will the next years of this decade right the wrongs of the past years? OK, time to think of sexy busty lesbians, now.
*If you’re wondering what word summed up the shit of the 2000s, I’m going with Skank. Think about it: Parasite Hilton, Tila Tequila, low-rise jeans/bottoms, Myspace whores all happened in this decade, and while all this pained my brain then, Myspace whores sound like a breath of fresh air these days. Then I’m reminded that they’ve all become Twatter/Instajoke whores. Poo.
And to those who think I’m a cunt for this entry alone, well, please continue to enjoy your opinion.