When people ask my age (29), this question almost always follows: “oh, do you have kids?” And I freak out. My answer to it, besides the obvious “NO!”, is: “I’m too young to have kids! I don’t even have anyone to make babies right now!” And it’s all true.
I’m just straight-up not ready to have kids right now. And, yes, that is implying that I would like to have kids in the future. Maybe not in the near future, but before my eggs get old. I’m not stable all-around to procreate; I need all my money at the moment, I’m still a kid myself–and not afraid to admit it, and I still want to live my life without worrying over little ones. And I don’t think it’s all selfish; I just know who I am and what works for me at the moment. I think I need to plan out motherhood should I finally heed the call of my ovaries saying “make babies NOW!!!” (Sometimes, they scream that at me when I see that vintage pic of Keanu Reeves in the entry before this.) Probably take a year to plan it out–to give me some time to stop smoking, get off the reefer, and mentally & physically get ready for becoming a mommy.
You know what’s funny? At the spa I work, most of the therapists there happen to be parents. Some of them are quite young–younger than me. I know an MT who’s in his early 20s, and he just became a father a few months ago. I got to see his newborn, and she’s an adorable one…but in the back of my head, I wonder if that’s what he really wanted: to have a child at his age. (He seems happy with his decision, though, so that’s all that matters.) I even get guests on occasions that ask me if I have kids. I tell them the same thing above. They actually appreciate my decision on waiting out. I have a regular that once told me, “I wish I was smart as you when I was your age.”
Am I trying to discourage parenthood altogether here? NO! What I’m getting at here is that it’s daunting to me when it’s not planned out and I’m not ready for it. Now, if it happens to another woman, and she still has the baby, that is fine with me–her decision. But if I got unexpectedly knocked up and I’m not ready for it, I’m sure as hell going to exercise my pro-choice rights. Double if the man that knocks me up leaves me/doesn’t support me after finding out the new bun in my oven.
It’s also disturbing to see girls younger than me that are moms that don’t act the way a mother is supposed to. Just because you see spoiled, self-absorbed brats on those teen mommy TV shows doesn’t mean that’s the behavioral template for young mothers. Fuck, you’re not even supposed to be a mother at that age! I worked with a couple of really young moms (they were under 23) at my spa before, yet their mentality never left high school. It was to where they were starting stupid high-school drama shit at work. In a spa, of all places! Thank God they left the place, though I wish they got fired. I guess it’s because those girls had children when they were, well, children themselves, and they didn’t get to experience life and having fun on their own that they act in such a way to kind of claim that lifestyle they couldn’t have. And while I don’t think your 20s are the last time to go wild, girls like that pretty much prove that there is a time and place for everything except having babies, and it’s called your 20s.
I also have to add: I can’t believe how many young dads there are in pro-sports. Here’s my rant on this: do I really, really think some of those young dads in pro-sports really wanted to settle down and have that family at that tender age of 25? No. I think some of those athletes want to project a wholesome image to the public (and perhaps make more endorsement dough from it), and one rubber-free night with their girlfriend at the exact right time, and they see that opportunity. (And the opportunity for the GF to go “ka-ching!”, if you know what I mean.) That, or they probably come from a culture where it’s standard to get their girlfriends hitched and knocked up before 25. I also bet that these same young athlete dads be sleeping around when they play away games with their team. Monogamous and wholesome is what they seem to be, but in secrecy, they banging other pussy. I feel like all athletes, both male and female, should wait till the twilight or end of their careers to finally settle down and have a family. At least not having to deal with that stuff during your playing career won’t cramp your game. All those athletes should just channel their inner Wilt Chamberlain and sleep around, and then when they can’t play their game anymore, then they can go have ‘dem babies. Look what sleeping around has done for Derek Jeter. I’m indifferent to his career, but I actually admire him for being a straight-up playboy and not being ashamed of it. No kids and wife (or ex-wife and shitty alimony payments) that he had to worry about during his long, Hall-of-Fame-worthy career that ends this season. Good for him; now he can settle down if he wants to.
But not me, and not right now. I still haven’t gotten my professional writing career started. Girlie still wants to enjoy her life child-free. Thank goodness for birth control and my incessant leeriness towards men. And unless if Sidney Crosby suddenly shows up at my doorstep and devotes his life and body to me, these ovaries can wait.