It’s supermodel Naomi Campbell’s birthday today, so celebrate by throwing your cell phone at someone. Yes, her diva antics are well-documented, but not only do I like her for not being ashamed of it (unlike some other flip-flopping famous females who say they’re no diva in interviews and then act like one after–or vice-versa), but that she’s still super, or at least relevant, 25+ years in the modeling industry. And, yes, I’ve heard she got a nose job, but it seems like nothing else got done and she still looks much better than some 20-something year olds out there. (Hello, Lindsay Lohan…)
I’m feeling link-happy right now, so here are the many things I’m
wasting my life checking out…
—The many things 90s guys raved about. (Regarding the MTV crushes: where’s Miss “House of Style” Cindy Crawford at?)
–In honor of Prom Season, the worst of it.
–Why didn’t anyone tell me about this website in the first place? Just when I was merely, merely contemplating on starting a bash blog trashing F-list “celebrities” (and sacrificing my own time writing something more substantial like poetry in the process), someone else is already doing so, saving me from the dirty work. Given the many people that blogger talks about on a daily, that is a helluva lotta dirty work that would make a landfill manager blush. I think this site is going to become my new time-waster. Seriously, I felt like I struck gold with this one. And, yeah, there are some names there that drive me closer to an aneurism, but when they’re being bashed (unlike in other entertainment blogs where they shamefully kiss the ass of F-list idiots), it’s, surprisingly, somewhat bearable.
–Hate Lady Gaga with a flaming passion? Don’t worry, I gotcha covered here.
–So it looks like US Vogue is now on the payroll of the most hated family in America since the Manson family, as evident by some of their Facebook posts. (Scroll down a bit to see what I’m talking about.) That’s right, Vogue, “get” those “likes” to repair all those subscriptions you have lost from your April cover*. Have fun watching the real stars shoot for your rivals while your hag editor (and their hapless interns posting such garbage on their FB page) continues to shit on what’s left of her magazine’s credibility before her eventual firing. (Noticed that *, by the way? If things like the home-run record of a juiced-up baseball player is now asterisked because he did not earn his record the right way, then that cover gets it, too–one that was not rightfully earned.)
–Oh, by the way, Vogue, we know you’re buying your Facebook likes. And, for a
celebrity tabloid fashion magazine you know it’s not the chic thing to do, right?
—Playboy magazine bestowed their Playmate of the Year honors to one lucky bunny (a week ago, so sue me for being late to this), and…I’m not too thrilled. Maybe it’s because I’m a brunette girl (and kudos to Playboy for selecting brunettes as their PMOYs for the past six years straight), but if they were going to go the blonde route, how about one that doesn’t look, um, too run-of-the-mill? Victoria Silvstedt she is not!
–Speaking of brunettes, finally. I mean, fina-fucking-ly. I don’t know why she hooked up with that guy in the first place–it can’t be money; I think she makes more money than that bench-warmer! That sound you’re hearing is me telling my dyke side to hush. She’s excited right now.
—The album I can’t stop listening to that has also me dancing. Today’s EDM/dubstep/robot-fuck electronica has nothing on 90s dance tunes.
–Finally, a Pinterest board featuring the kind of swimsuits I wish I saw more of these days. (I swear, when I finally get this body of mine into bikini form, I will slay at the beach with my high-cut two-piece! This I vow!)
—Possibly the smartest thing I read today. You go read it too.